CAN I REALLY DO THIS JOB WELL AND HAVE A LIFE?

This is the question many people ask on a daily basis.

A growing trend in today's workforce puts a greater emphasis on living a successful, happy life versus simply achieving success at work.

So the question is, how do ladies (single, married) effectively balance work and personal life especially when it causes problems, conflicts, guilt, and tensions both at work and at home? Both job and family, --- from commitments to family, church and so forth - the pressure to do it all and do it well is strong in our society.

How are we expected to cope in the midst of all these and not compromise?

HOW CAN ONE BE FREE FROM GETTING HURT EMOTIONALLY? PART II

image credited to urbanspiritual.org

So, I decided to do a second post for the question in order for us to see it from another perspective.

The question is still, "Can someone be free from getting hurt emotionally?"

Answers

You are in a relationship or you have been in several relationships, from one break up to another.

This part you have to do the work of being sure and being patient before saying yes to a guy. This is because if a girl is getting hurt severally, it is because she is also entering several relationships, which is absolutely unnecessary.

So what to do?

HOW CAN ONE BE FREE FROM GETTING HURT EMOTIONALLY? PART I

image credited to urbanspiritual.org

Can someone be free from getting hurt emotionally?

Answers

First of all, I’ll like to say, “Expectation (from humans) can be the mother of all disappointments.”

You are not in a relationship, but guys keep coming around, whatever the case is, I know it can be hard and it is easier said, but it can be done. Try not to expect too much from someone that has said and have shown too little. A hug isn't equal to he wants to marry you and all those funny things that the Internet portrays as signs he likes you or whatever. 

Do you know a Hug is not equal to "I want to marry you"?

HOW LONG DO YOU WAIT FOR THE SPIRIT OF DISCERNMENT FROM GOD

How long do you wait for the spirit of discernment from God?

Answers

The gifts of the spirit are available to us all and if we truly seek it, we would find it.

Desire it: Desire it like you desire to wake up to see the next day. While desiring it, make sure that your motive is right. 1. Cor 12 verse 7. The Gifts are given to us we can help one another, if that's your true motive as you desire it you will get it fully as Christs gives you.

IS IT RIGHT TO SLEEP ON THE SAME BED WITH SOMEONE YOU AREN’T MARRIED TO?

Is it right to sleep on the same bed with someone you are not married to? Like you are dating and partner asks you to sleep over not with the intention of having SEX though.

Answers

Anything could have happened. It is right that we focus on "the reason" for that decision.

What really happened and was that the last option?  Truth is everyone needs to know their body, but if there are other options before this please make use of those options so that it doesn't look like you have been "itching to smooch" and you just found the perfect excuse.

I will close with this example of mine.

MY BOYFRIEND WANTS TO STAY WITH ME FOR THE NEXT 6 MONTHS BECAUSE HE’S HAVING SOME TROUBLES. SHOULD I ALLOW HIM?

Is it possible to live in the same house and sleep in the same bed with your fiancé for close to 6 months and claim nothing as ever happened between you guys? And is there any circumstance where it is ok for you guys to live together without being married? E.g the landlord chased the guy out of his house and there is no money to rent another house.

Answers

That it is wrong is the *straight truth*. I already answered most of this in my previous answer.

Landlord chased him out; He has to look for somewhere else. You can help him for a night because I am being as practical as possible here

And I put some conditions for a situation like this. You can read it in this post here

But you see after that "night of shock" there has to be a solution in the morning.  

IS IT LOVE OR LUST?

How do you know when someone loves you or lusts after you?

COULD SOMEONE JUST TELL ME IF LADIES PUTTING ON TROUSERS IS RIGHT OR WRONG? PART II

This is the concluding part of the post about trousers.

If you missed it, read it here...

This is the concluding part of the question: “If putting on trousers outside church or any Christian gathering is the right thing to do, then why is it frowned upon when worn to church?  OR Does it mean my putting on trousers and sitting down on the altar make the altar unholy?”

Answers

If you missed the first part, read here

Now having read and understood the first part, I am going somewhere. It is obvious that God isn't talking about the kind of trousers that women wear today.

1. They didn't exist in those days

2. These trousers are made for women!!!

COULD SOMEONE JUST TELL ME IF LADIES PUTTING ON TROUSERS IS RIGHT OR WRONG? PART I

If putting on trousers outside church or any Christian gathering is the right thing to do, then why is it frowned upon when worn to church?  OR Does it mean my putting on trousers and sitting down on the altar make the altar unholy?

Answers

I have divided the post in two parts in order to ensure that I cover all that I believe should be covered.

Since it's a church setting let me start with what she may have had in mind

HE WANTS TO BRING HIS MOTHER TO “STAY INDEFINITELY” JUST 2 WEEKS INTO OUR MARRIAGE. I THINK I’M ABOUT TO LOSE MY MIND. WHAT DO I DO?

How will you handle a situation where your husband makes a proposal to invite his mum over to stay with you both (with no specific time of returning) barely two weeks after your wedding?

Answers

Hmmmm…… I am glad the topic says "proposal", not that she has already appeared to the house.

I HAVE A SECRET. I WANT TO REVEAL IT AND I DON'T WANT TO REVEAL IT COS I MIGHT LOSE HIM. WHAT DO I DO?

Is it good to reveal ones past to her fiancé all in the name of being sincere even when you know there's an 80% probability of him leaving you?'

What I mean is that I am already in the relationship but there's an assurance he will leave because of my past which I want to reveal to him. However, I need to tell him to build trust and sincerity in your relationship.

Answer:

Transparency is going to be one of the top feature of a flourishing relationships whether marriage or friendship kind of relationship.

Having established that, you cannot withhold information from someone just to keep them, that's very wrong especially when they're already in the pre-marriage stage.

Tell him all, because you love God and want to do what's right not because of any earthly reason at all.

AS A LADY; CAN I STILL GO OUT WITH MY MALE FRIENDS NOW THAT I’M IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP? Part II

This is the concluding part to the question of if a lady in a serious relationship can go out on casual “nothing-attached” outings with her male friends.

You can read the Part I here

So…here goes the concluding answers

Answers

I mustn’t forget to add that if there's no special thing happening e.g. birthday, anniversary, meetings etc. You have no business saying yes to just a "casual date". I am just reiterating that your boyfriend is capable enough and you should be busy with God's purpose. If these two things are intact, you can't –I promise- have time for "once in a blue moon casual outings without purpose"

DID GOD COMMAND LADIES TO USE SCARVES TO CHURCHES AND RELIGIOUS PLACES? PART I

This question is about whether or not it is mandatory or has been commanded by God for ladies to use scarves or cover their heads to church or any Christian gathering

Answers

To be honest I didn't know how I was going to start this topic because it is broad, I mean very very broad, so I would actually only be scratching the surface today as this teaching has many parts that 

we can actually explore as time goes on here in the WONDIVA community.

So the basics

1 Corinthians 11:5

“And any woman who [publicly] prays or prophesies (teaches, refutes, reproves, admonishes, or comforts) when she is bareheaded dishonors her head (her husband); it is the same as [if her head were] shaved.” (THE AMPLIFIED BIBLE)*

MY HUSBAND IS REJECTING A WEDDING GIFT GIVING TO US BY MY EX? WHAT SHOULD I DO? THE GIFT IS A CAR!!

Your Ex gives you an expensive car as a Wedding Gift and your Husband says he doesn’t want the gift? What should I do?

Answers

The man is now her head; at least the term uses "Husband" so If he says No it is No.

Besides for that gift to be collected, the guy giving the gift should or would have to be the Husband's friend so that it is like a family acceptance and a family gift. Because like it or not, men have Ego and no man wants to genuinely see "another man" buy his ‘baby’ a car let alone an Ex that's even worse.

I’M NO LONGER COMFORTABLE AT MY JOB ‘CAUSE MY MARRIED BOSS IS ‘LIKING’ ME. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I DON’T WANT TO QUIT MY JOB BECAUSE I LOVE MY JOB.

I know a lady. She just got this job and her boss is extremely nice. According to her, his niceness is too good to be true. She has never had a bad day working there. Recently it happened that the boss kind of asked her out. She politely said No and he said no problem cos he's a married man. Now, the problem is that she doesn't feel as free as she was before he asked her out. And she also doesn't want to quit cos she loves her job. What do you guys think?

Answers

Sadly this whole married boss affair thing still happens and I empathize with the lady. I understand when she says she isn't so free anymore...I mean it's just weird...

Working with someone you know likes you yet is married. Doesn’t get “weirder” than that, does it?