AS A LADY; CAN I STILL GO OUT WITH MY MALE FRIENDS NOW THAT I’M IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP? Part I

I am now in a serious relationship. So, can I still go out with my male friends? As in, just normal hanging out with nothing attached..

Answers

You're in a serious relationship, I'm not talking about relationship that doesn't have head and tail (you shouldn't be in one without head and tail anyways)

1. It’s all about your heart & motives

2. It's all about the purpose of what you're doing. For if there's no Purpose, misuse & abuse is inevitable

  

There is more but I want to make what am saying short and straight forward. So with those 2 points, I speak…

Please you're not in bondage when you're in relationship or marriage so let’s not think or talk like we have been bound with chains and we are waiting for any "prison break opportunity". If you have meetings with a male friend, let there be a purpose. For instance, work purpose, church committee, maybe class or group discussions etc. 

You were living a life before your relationship, so your relationship cannot & should not stop you from living out your Purpose and having purposeful meetings with defined timings, goals and objectives. If you act like a responsible lady before other guys, you will be given your respect and space. That's that about meetings and committees.

Now for Friends taking you out "Just for Chills", you would have to "get" a purpose for the outing. Is it your anniversary? Is it your birthday? Did you just get a promotion at work etc?

I am going somewhere. Now I believe there's nothing wrong with your -that's the lady's- boyfriend and he can and should take her out and I believe he does takes her out.

But Ladies you can't just be accepting outings unnecessarily. Now if a friend that's a bit close to you wants to do that, you can have a group outing. When you are in a serious relationship, your friends becomes his friends and vice versa and having the purpose and celebration in mind. You should all go out together. If he has a girl fine if not 3 of you should go, talk, laugh, play etc. The only case that you should go with the guy alone Is if your guy is unavailable and the guy –the friend of your guy and you- really genuinely just wants to celebrate with you, just came back from a trip or something authentic and genuine, then you can go, talk about things that are not intimate, eat, laugh, appreciate friendship, pray and go home.

You see if your boyfriend says no you can't go without him for certain reasons, then you can't go without him (which would be a genuine reason, please note –I am not talking about a controlling man here; that's a different topic, so let’s not mix it up). It's not boxing you, it's just the responsibility that goes when you say yes to someone. You begin to think and take decisions together. 

Please I must add that the outing thing cannot be a reoccurring event "please note" if it happens at all...really maybe 1ce, 2ce (should be rare) before you guys get married. So it's not a 1ce in a 3months thing, NO! You guys should go as a group if the male is "really your friend". Only in unavoidable cases should you go alone with this "friend of yours and your guy". Yes it is a big deal. Really you should be acting out how you want your marital life while in courtship/serious relationship. It's not time to be acting like you want a prison break. A Relationship is not a Prison please. Having the right mentality would help in having the right attitude.

Contributed by Nkechi Chiazor

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